Understanding the Living Benefits of Life Insurance

So, you want to understand the concept of life insurance and the living benefits it affords?

I applaud your interest, as your decision to read this article will contribute to one of the best decisions you will make in your life. 

Whether you already have sufficient life insurance coverage, just a little or none at all, you're in good hands...provided you will apply the knowledge being shared with you.

For starters, let us go to the basics. Life insurance is a contractual agreement made between the insured person (s) and the insurer who will be responsible for paying out the sum bought to the beneficiaries in the case of the insured's death. But before you start swaying your mind from that previous sentence let us assess the importance of this.

Some persons are of the view that life insurance is death business, primarily because of this one factor. While this is not a bad thing, I will help you understand the living benefits as well, just so you will have a balanced outlook. 

Back to the infamous view of life insurance being death business. While it is uncomfortable and in some cases insensitive to talk about death, more and more families are starting to get it right. 

Imagine a family where there are parents and children. The parents owe a substantive amount of money in loans. They have little to no savings for emergencies nor for the education of their children. Imagine now, that one of the parents die. Yes, these things happen and the sooner you begin to think maturely about these scenarios, the sooner you will be able to put mature decisions in place as well. 

Right, so one of the parents die. This now means that there is a strain on the other in terms of final expenses i.e. funeral costs. This alone sometimes send families into more debt and a more distraught frame of mind. 

If the deceased person has loans, the family will be targeted for the clearing of such loans which may include taking possession of assets in the home. What if they had a mortgage together? One now has the burden of paying solely and risk having the home foreclosed. The children of the union may now have to take loans for education or forego higher education all together. Or maybe, the other parent can double up to save that from happening.

All in in, a stressful situation to be in. One that could have been alleviated if the deceased had life insurance. Life insurance provides peace of mind. 

One knows, that should their loved ones outlive them, they can be financially secured, especially if it is the main breadwinner that passes. Some of the financial stresses will be alleviated, even though the mourning for a loved one continues.

Who wouldn't want this for their loved ones? I don't know about you, but I sure wouldn't want my children nor parents worrying about paying off loans I owe, spending their last dollar on funeral expenses, risk not having a home, their medication or education while still dealing with the financial woes a top of their emotional worry.

When you you love your loved ones, paying your life insurance premiums monthly, semi-annually or annually shouldn't seem like death to you. It's an expression of commitment and love.

Enough about the sad love story. Let us assess the living benefits of life insurance. You heard right. Your life insurance policy has a plethora of benefits you can access while you are still having coffee and visiting friends.

First, answer this question, do you want to have financial freedom?

If you don't already, then having your life insurance is a start! Consider a pyramid. At the base, life insurance is your foundation while the top signifies the achievement of financial freedom. To get to the top, there are a few steps up, however, your base/foundation/insurance must be strong to avoid you toppling over.

 In a situation where you do not have insurance (life, health, accident, dismemberment etc.) you will be tempted to use your savings, money accrued to pay off debt, your investments etc. to take care of what your insurance would have taken care of. That leads you to start all over again on your road to financial freedom and you will start over many times more, if you do not get it right. Just as how savings should be separate, so too should your emergency fund, debt management portfolio, investments and your insurances. 

The next time you imagine being financially free, remember that your life insurance as well health insurance too, help to make up that foundation.

Since you may not yet be liquid enough to purchase your dream home cash or build it from scratch...cash, you may consider taking out a loan/mortgage to facilitate your goal of home ownership. Ambitious goal you have there and achievable too. The avenue, can be simplified by having your life insurance. How? You may ask. 

Let's just put it this way, banks are smart and they are not your friends. Facilitating your loan/mortgage means they have to put something in place, just in case down the road you are not able to pay -whatever tough times you may be facing. 

That "thing" they put in place for you is mortgage insurance. It's not for you really, you pay for it but, it is for the bank. Get it? They are protecting themselves against loss just in case you are not able to pay for your home - for whatever reason. Now, if you had life insurance - equal to or greater than the cost of the home you wouldn't have to spend thousands more on mortgage insurance. 

All you would have to do, is use your life insurance policy as collateral for the mortgage. There is a crucial point to note here. Life insurance policies gather cash value each year after a specified period of time. For you to use your life insurance policy as collateral for the mortgage, the cash value at the time of the mortgage would need to be of equal or greater value as the home, and this is the same principle for other loans.

You see, a lot of planning goes into decision making and that is why it is pertinent to seek advise from qualified persons in the field you are planning on making decisions about. I could go writing for days about choosing, effecting, utilizing your life insurance policy, but that is for another time. 

I am sticking to telling you about the living benefits of having your policy. Should you need to consult a trained and licensed insurance representative, you can visit her here: ensure.you.insure . She will be able to conduct an evaluation to determine which, and how much coverage is best for you. A tip she is sure to tell you though, is that the sooner you purchase life insurance, the it will be.

Similarly to homeownership, life insurance caters to business opportunities. Many entrepreneurs have lost a business deal because they did not have enough ready cash nor adequate collateral.

 How much does your business need? Will you be expanding? All this takes can be handled well with planning, taking the right risks and most comforting - life insurance. The cash value on your policy can be well needed help to secure your business opportunities.  

Another living benefit includes saving. While many prefer to save with the bank, some persons save with the bank and also reap savings from their life insurance! Nothing wrong with more savings. More savings, more money for you. There are policies designed perfectly to accommodate this, ensure.you.insure shares the details.

 The good highlight of savings through a life insurance policy is that it offers you more than just the savings. There is protection in the event of loss, the policy provides income tax saving which keeps pace with inflation and acts as a buffer for those tempting moments when you may want to withdraw from your savings. Now this, is a big deal.

Lady Justice, these benefits are well worth sharing as many persons would not have otherwise known that their life insurance policies can be so impactful. Not only providing peace of mind, but adding to your net worth as the cash value continues to accumulate and remains beneficial over the span of one's life.

What are you waiting for? Consult with ensure.you.insure today to carefully assess your long and short term needs to find the right policy for you. 

 

"Carry-Overs" | How well are you managing them?

 

What keeps you going?

For many, it is a personal drive to advance to the attainment of goals and achievements that they desire, outside of any stimulus from the circumstances they were born into. They somehow have a clean slate on which they identify the things that they will go after. While this is not a perfect slate, and may have underlying challenges, it is one hoped for by many. Be it for themselves, children, or as a lasting legacy for generations to come.

For others, the slate is not blank at all. Instead, it has a lot of "carry-overs." These can be different for a lot of persons and they can be similar too. A lot of persons born with these "carry-overs" may not have achieved their attainment. Some persons have achieved some and are still striving, while others - may just be getting started.

What exactly are these "carry-overs?" 

You may very well feel an inkling by now as to what they are and may have sub-consciously identified those unique to you. You no longer need to read between the lines, as some are expressed below.

"Carry-overs" as I call them, are acts and omissions (things to do or not to do) that were or were not done by our immediate forefathers/mothers, parents, siblings, relatives and guardians too, resulting in a lesser quality of life and opportunities that would make our lives, as continuing family members better.

Like I rightly alluded, "carry-overs" may be different or similar to individuals, families and communities all across the globe. Feelings associated with "carry-overs" can be negative and positive depending on the expectations attached.

In order to provide the most relatable analogies of "carry-overs", I will refer to Jamaica. Examined here, are gender, education, residency and opportunities.

Gender

Many Jamaican women are head of their households (whether by choice or circumstances) and work hard to support their families alone as they are single mothers, some of which, had teenaged pregnancies. Within the context of this blog, these outcomes are not being ridiculed nor scoffed at. It is with these identifiers, that I can now introduce the idea that these mothers may not want the same for their girls. Likewise, their girls may strive to not "carry-over" something like teenage pregnancy. For girls who do not become teenaged mothers, this may be a major accomplishment, especially if their mother was a teenaged mother. This omission to "carry-over" would have broken that pattern and that burden would disappear … resurfacing again - perhaps when another girl becomes a teenager.

Similarly, there are boys and men who would have experienced their fathers being unconcerned with their upbringing. Their fathers may have been abusive to members of the household, led unhealthy or unlawful lifestyles or were emotionally unavailable. Being witnesses this, they would strive to not "carry-over" those practices in their lives and that of the families they go on to create. This here, is another example of the omissions type of "carry-over." Should the boy grow to adopt these characteristics, the pattern would be perpetuated and the burden to omit, transferred to another boy in the family, growing into manhood.

"Carry-overs" like those, relating to gender are usually widespread in our society and sometimes become more of a societal issue than a family issue.

Education

As it relates to education, particularly secondary and tertiary, a lot of persons are first in their families or one of few in their families to pursue and also attain the experiences and certification these levels comprise of. In some families, the older adults did not have the opportunities to attend school. We hear stories, where our parents, grand parents or even great grand parents would have had to seek trades i.e. carpentry or dressmaking at an early age, because education was not available or affordable for them. Some adults today, had the educational opportunities but may have somehow, not utilize them properly. The reasons abound and vary significantly.

The crux of the matter however, is that persons born into this family, would have been striving then, to clear that pattern of illiteracy or the unestablished pattern of higher education. This "carry-over" is usually seen as the way maker for countless possibilities that can transform the lives of individuals and families.  

Many households place education on a pedestal and some parents sacrifice immensely to ensure their children are educated. 

Residency

Comment to let me know if it is your observation as well, that all across Jamaica there are plenty of unfinished houses, and for many houses that are complete, it took years and possibly more than three generations to have done so. Many persons "carry-over" the desire to either complete their parent's/parents' home or to be homeowners as a result of circumstances they were born in. Some persons may have never owned nor had a home. As a result, this acts as a stimulus towards homeownership. 

Similarly, location comes into play. A lot of persons today, already have on their slates, the goal to reside elsewhere from their childhood homes. This may be due to unpleasant experiences or associations with a particular place, resulting in the desire to seek out a better plot of land for one's place of abode. Sometimes this includes living abroad.

Opportunities

It is no surprise that we all seek out different opportunities. Oftentimes for very similar end results. For instance, earning more money, advancing on the social ladder, learning new skills, personal and professional growth and even charitable causes.

Regardless of the reasons for which persons seek out opportunities, "carry-overs" sometimes come in to play. These "carry-overs" can be linked to the ones outlined above. This is no coincidence. For persons to achieve their goals and ambitions in life, they constantly seek and take on opportunities. 

Sometimes, it is a missed opportunity that costs someone the burden of having "carry-overs." On the contrary, an opportunity grasped could well mean that goals are actualized or have become closer within reach.

How does one strike a balance between charting their own course un-regrettably and living to mend the breaks "carried-over" in their life? Do you really get to strike a balance?

My tips to Lady Justice are:

• First, believe in yourself. This belief in self will be an indomitable spirit needed to go after the goals you set.

• Clear your thoughts of what is expected of you versus what you expect of yourself. Are you expected to be the first engineer in your family but your passion is screaming pharmacist? Too often, the "carry-overs" faced, are the personal goals and wishes that others had for themselves or for the reputation of the family. These goals are planted within us, and we begin to believe them as our own passions.

• For the "carry-overs" that you absolutely feel the desire to achieve or omit, outline a plan. Step by step, day in - day out. Devising a workable and manageable plan will help you to feel less burdened in achieving them.

• Talk to the people who you think have caused or added to your "carry-over," this talk may clear up misunderstandings. You may well believe that a sibling or parent who have omitted to do something in their lives, thinks you should act on it. They may very well tell you that it is not an expectation of you or that you will be supported, if you too omit on such a task. Similarly, if the expectation does exists, you can speak up about whether you are burdened or excited by it. Sometimes they are willing to help you - if only they know of the burdens you face, or help you may need.

• Don't forget to live your life! Don't go merely existing and hoping to live through someone else's opportunities or existence. Celebrate your life and lead a fulfilling one. That way, you will know what it feels like to allow others, (be it your own children or others in general) to live their very own life as well!

Steps to Eliminate The Body Aches Caused by Your Phone

 Phones are everywhere and so is pain!

Whether you have the latest versions of the most trending phones, or pulling out your old phone stirs conversations of "back-then", you are at risk of suffering tremendous body aches by virtue of owning one.
You may not have realized it, but many of the physical discomforts you have, can be alleviated and can even disappear if you adopt better phone habits and consciously follow through with them. Here are the steps to eliminate the body aches caused by your phone.

EYES

Do your eyes get heavy, watery and painful when you use your phone? For some, prolonged phone use can cause discomfort in the eyes and they may not even be aware. If you use your phone for long hours for work or leisure, be sure to adjust the screen lighting to suit the environment you are in and the time of day. If your space is poorly lit, you will want to turn up the brightness moderately to avoid straining to see what is on your screen. Similarly, if your space is well lit, even by natural lighting, then you wouldn't need the extra brightness from your phone. Check regularly to ensure you do not forget to adjust and re-adjust in situations like these.

To add, try as much as possible to minimize your "screen time" right before bedtime. Staring at the glare from your phone minutes before bed can contribute to wakefulness at nights and sored eyes. Ensure too, that the font styles and fonts you use are suitable for you to read and understand clearly without strain. Who wants stylish fonts that damages the eyes?

NECK & BACK

Believe it or not, the necks and backs of millions of people are straining this minute as they use their phones, and you may be included too! Sit and stand upright. Avoid all slouching postures. Raise your neck to look to the ceiling or sky, gently lower it to a halt, where you are seemingly looking outward, to the center of where you are sitting or standing. Raise the hand holding your phone outward to your chest. Hold it slightly lower than your eyes. Keep your neck and back supported with an upright posture. And if you are laying, monitor the unusual curves in your neck and back just the same. 

Have you ever seen someone flex their neck after finally raising it from their phones? Imagine doing that every time you use your phone. The flexing doesn't solve the problem. Keep "Text Neck" and back pain caused from slouching at bay, by practicing good posture.

CHEST

You are not off the hook just yet. So don't start celebrating that you have no chest pain. What about that time you were laying on your back, hand (s) mid-air with phone, when suddenly it fell onto your chest?! Did you love that feeling? Poor chest. Maybe you will want to get a pop socket. It is a phone accessory that allows for a good grip of one's phone from the back to prevent it from falling. You can choose from a variety of colours and styles and can customize it as well.

HANDS

Don't believe me? Ask your friends what letter of the alphabet you look like when you are stretching to get that perfect selfie. The hands are stretched or placed at unusual lengths and angles for the great photo opportunity. In that moment, you will not mind or may not even be mindful of the predicament. A selfie stick may help or simply asking someone to take pictures for you. As for stretching your hands like an antenna for phone signal - that may become necessity sometimes. That doesn't mean that your hands are not feeling the pinch though.

STOMACH

Yes. Food is included. How often do you ignore the pangs of hunger or thirst just because you are consumed by the features or uses of your phone. Is is necessary?  Nope. This is a reminder as well, to check in with children to monitor their screen time, ensuring they eat actual foods and not the digitized foods in games. The next time you find yourself scrolling through the food emojis with a rousing appetite or trading food time for phone time- go get something to eat and or drink.

Lady Justice, bodily aches may not always appear when we expect them to. They may appear long after the initial cause when you have forgotten what may be causing them. It is good to be consciously aware of the things that are contributing to the aches we feel now or may feel later. Remember, it is you who are in control of your phone. When it falls, that's enough pain for you. Do not add more pain by compromising the body parts identified.

TOP 10 MUST-DOs BEFORE THE NEW YEAR

Who said anything about Resolutions?

Its stale socks. You know, the bickering about whether or not New Year Resolutions live past January, who's ditching them this year and who still has eyes on making a few. To each, his/her own so, let's leave that there.

Instead, let us cut the chase and use the remaining days to do these 10 things that will position our lives on better standings for the up coming year and beyond.

Number 1: Know your answer to "Who am I?"

You would be surprised how many persons are stomped when asked who they are. They either repeat the question coyly with eyes wandering with no purpose or begin on the spot to question themselves. Who am I?

Spoiler alert, your name, age, height, occupation, number of siblings, pets or children is by no means an invalid answer. However, such a question calls for a bit more searching within yourself.

What are your zealous about? What are your values? What projects are you working on that may need partnership or sponsorship? Why is it important to you? Should you snooze your alarm, what would you suddenly remember that would propel you from your slumber? Who do you inspire? Who inspires you? Why?

All this is part of who you are. A definition that changes daily because we inch closer day after day to our goals; get challenged by different obstacles and acquire new interests.  This not only helps interviewers, dates and new friends to figure out who you are, but affirms you, that you are in tune with YOU and subsequently...know what serves you and what does not.

Number 2: Do a Social Media Analysis/Edit

Relax. I am not deducing that your posts and engagements are ill. That's for you to decide. By analysis I mean, check to see if you are using the updated versions of the social media apps you use. Sometimes our slow and faulty experiences arise from outdated apps. 

Also, ensure that you have all the social media apps that serve your interests, profession and skills. Ideally, if you love learning new crafts and life hacks, then you should already have YouTube and Pinterest. Similarly, if you are in a job seeking phase or just want to establish your professional connection, then LinkedIn is an ideal space. You get the gist.

Next, do some editing if necessary. Maybe the last time you edited you were a junior and presently, you have been promoted. Allow your preferred social media platforms to reflect this. Likewise, you may want to edit your following on Instagram. This doesn't only mean the amount of followers. Let's say you are interested in building bird houses for the upcoming year and beyond. It follows suit then that you may want to follow other individuals doing this craft. 

Number 3: De-clutter and Organize your Devices

Are you one of those persons who have an excessive amount of screenshots? Chances are, you'll need space for more! Browse through your phone's gallery to delete images and gifs that you no longer need. Be careful though, not to get caught up reminiscing. Search too for those WhatsApp groups that have only you as member or doesn't serve you any longer. This isn't a burning bridges tutorial now...some groups may have been created for a task that is long gone and is just taking up space now, Exit and delete.

What do you think about arranging your songs...into categories/playlists? That would save you time when searching for particular music and would also spare you the dangerous leap on Sunday when a hardcore dancehall song graces the audience you were blessing with the sweet tones of gospel. 

To add, if you enjoy changing screen savers, lock screens and profile pictures, now would be a good time to consider even, what your replacement will be.

As for laptop and desktops, it would be of great help to organize folders too.

Number 4: Re-visit your Resume and Cover Letter

Whether you have job security or not, whether you received a job proposal or not, re-visit you resume and cover letter. Who knows, maybe your format is outdated or simply, unappealing. Also, maybe by now you have decided if you will use a coma or a full stop after the greetings.

On a more serious note, personal growth is imperative. Character and skills and interests. Is there something new that you have garnered in the past months? Anything you have augmented? All this growth, care how small helps to polish your resume. Re-visiting your resume and cover letter can also mean editing double words and grammar. Share with a trusted friend or family member to assist you with the process of getting it up to par. It doesn't hurt to do so now. Spare yourself the anxiety and rush when the appointed time arises.

Number 5: Get your Finances in Order

This is not the typical budgeting header. In fact, it is that and more. The Financial Foundation Pyramid gives us a visual of what it means to get our finances in order. At the very base, there is protection. This refers to your insurances. Life, health, disability, travel insurance etc. What's the use, walking around like immortals with no insurance, only to be significantly displaced by unforeseen risks with no assurance of indemnity or substantial financial aid? 

Following that is debt management. There are many among us who are debt free and we shouldn't envy them. There is significant amount of discipline that comes with that. Do not despair however if you are indeed indebted whether by student loans, car loans, credit car loans, mortgages etc. Now, more that ever is a good time to get your finances in order...so other people and organizations can get theirs in order too.

Close to the top of the pyramid is emergency fund. What's the sense just having a savings account without the other elements of the pyramid? What that means is that you will deplete your savings for health reasons that health insurance would have taken care of. You will also turn to your savings to pay debt and for emergencies. Then, no savings and possibly there wasn't even enough to take care of the complications. Thus, having things separate helps. Emergency fund for emergencies.

Then, at the very top is investment. Here, your money works even as you sleep. Assets are the order of the day and financial freedom tastes great. 

A part of getting your finances in order includes getting financially educated too. Not in terms of x = y. Rather, how to kick start your financial foundation pyramid.

Number 6: Seek out Extracurricular Activities

This isn't just for students. Adults too can get engaged in associations related to their professions. Here they may be exposed to social events, skills building and feel as though they are part of a community of like minded individuals. There are a plethora of clubs and other social groups that one can associate themselves with based values, talents and interests.

Do not take for granted the saying "I am busy". We all make time for what we want and excuses for what we do not want so much. If there is nothing that grabs your interest, then create something. Who knows, maybe others will join you.

School to home. Work to home. Work to school to home. Home to home, whichever combination resonates with you...is not enough. It may be in your comfort zone but your talents, potential and ultimate purpose need more stretching and challenges. A ship is safe at harbour, but that isn't where it was built for. Go sail!

Number 7: Live more out of intent than habit and custom

Story goes, our brain remembers all our habits and executes them well. So, they stay with us and are hard to break. For some persons, they have a habit of frying an egg and cuddling it between slices of bread and that's that. What if they make a conscious effort to add lettuce to the shopping list? Or if they decided to scramble with tomatoes. That would be a whole new experience and the mundane meal would transform into an anticipated delight.

For some persons, sticking to something may mean loyalty to brand and signature. While for others, it really is just a habit that they'd be willing to change.

When we live more out of intent, we live in the moment and sometimes our experiences are better. Don't stay bogged down by how something has always been done. If that was a law, even the law would cease to serve its purpose.

Number 8: Be your biggest fan and most animated Cheerleader

We must understand, even our best friends and truest support systems inhale and exhale too. By virtue of that, they lead separate lives and may not always be the zest of energy and "go ahead" we need. Even if they are ALWAYS there, they may no always be fired up 100%.

As a result, start honing the skill of setting yourself into motion and muster the ability to cheer yourself on. You will need this when the weirdest, riskiest or otherwise slight ideas are conceived in your thoughts. You will also need this when you start a project with all the motivation you amassed only to find it dwindling at a crucial point.

It is wise to cherish your cheerleaders and rely on them for sure. However, consider their capacity and how much better it would be if you helped with cheering yourself on too.

Number 9: Who will you help climb up the ladder?

Sure, the universe is conspiring to bless you abundantly and cause you to succeed in all that you do. Prosperity, new and wonderful beginnings are aiming their bows at you.

When you're done claiming that, consider this...

Who will you help climb up the ladder? The season of giving and goodwill is everyday. The smallest acts of kindness has helped YOU at some time or another in your life thus far. It may be the turning point in another's life just the same.

Consider your time, talents, resources, wisdom etc. how can it be of impact and to who? Avoid the urge to sit a top the ladder looking down with spite. Avoid kicking it down too, as you may have to venture down. The ladder is metaphoric and they differ. As one person's ladder may not be the same as yours. However, the motions of up and down are the same. 

Number 10: Look back on the winding Year

Businesses are reviewing their strategies, parliaments, their approaches. In every sector, in every home, some reflection will be taking place even unconsciously. It would be an injustice to yourself not to reflect as well.

There are goals you have, constructions to complete, worthwhile decisions you made, some bitter-sweet. Whatever the winding year brought you. Whatever lacking it highlighted. Take a look back. Month by month if possible. What are your highlights? What lessons did you learn? What lessons did you forget?

How will you proceed?

Lady Justice, we are still sure of today in this year. Let's look back with care. The winding year is closing in on us and we are not sure what the face of the coming one looks like. My hope is that we will see it not as a start over of our lives but actually a blessing to continue it differently.

The Problem with Help is...

 Help is complex street. Whether you walk or drive, you can help and you can be helped. Generally, helping is a good thing and for sure, there are billions of areas where help is often solicited and rendered.

So, what problem could there possibly be with helping? Like I said, it is a complex street. For your safety, be alert.

As you walk this stretch of life, you are sure to come across persons who help you out of sheer love and a humble calling within themselves to offer assistance to you. You too, may be this energy of help to others. Within this realm of help, there is oftentimes genuine gratitude on the part of the receiver...I hope. This genuine gratitude is facilitated by the organic feeling emanating from the idea that the source has no oblique intentions.

 The source of this help does not hold you honour-bound and is not associated with feelings of obligation and score keeping. It is the type of help that sets you free. The type of help that boldens you to disagree if needs be, with the source - without worry of withdrawal and sabotage. Often times, it is the type of help that finds you. Remember it and do not be ungrateful. And if you are that source of this pure energy of help, stick to your gut as it will continue to lead you to the gratitude-filled.

It is already hard for many, to 'swallow their pride' ask for or accept help or do both. Imagine how much harder it must be, living with feelings of unhealthy indebtedness, fear of broadcast of the help received and a smalling up of yourself to be in strict alignment always with the source of your help?

For this reason, a counter thought exists for the notion that persons have 'poor help seeking behaviours'. In essence, persons reach out late or not at all when faced with situations that they can barely help themselves out of. It is usually scolded, sometimes lightly and with sympathy if the situation surfaces and potential help lines up. At this point, there may be sweet relief for the person whom was helped and a new found consciousness to actively seek help in future.

Sounds great, right? It does indeed. 

However, there is a counter thought. What about persons with 'poor help rendering behaviours'?

For sure, sources of help analyse their time and resources of any fashion that they intend to render to the receiver. In this process, many think about what is in it for themselves. A kind of transaction, praise, pension or upper hand. This is the problem, with help. Especially in situations that are not in alliance with that type of outcome. 

Were you ever in a situation where you received help and it felt like the source of your help is likely to keep scores?

Have you ever rendered help on the basis that you would have the upper hand or be praised? Was this agreed on by the receiver of your help?

Think about all you have read so far. Then join me in assessing another complexity of help, the aspect of exploitation.

There exist persons who will be bold about soliciting your help. This is normal and it can be healthy but in some instances, exploitative. Extracting your kindness, time, connections, resources etc. for selfish gains while making it out to be all good and well on the surface, while the persons rendering this kind of help gets drained, spread thin and manipulated.

The ideal thing to do is to spot it and stop it. Still, it may prove harder than that for some persons.

My tips to Lady Justice are:

• If you decide to help, make sure you really want to help. Your heart cries out. Your soul melts and you feel as though helping is its own reward.

• Solicit help from people who care to help without unfair conditionalities and whose passions and purposes align with what you are seeking help about.

• Be clear on the agreements and terms of help. Do you understand them? Do you accept them?

• Consider whether your kindness, time, connections and resources are being exploited. Staying in situations like those do not serve you. It serves the exploiters at the expense of your goodwill.

• Do not stop helping or asking for help just because the topic is complex. Assess each situation on its unique bearing and follow through accordingly.

WHO do You Really Want to Become?

Leave your parents' and society's expectations out for a while.

From the womb to the the tomb. That's how long it takes for many persons to find and fulfill THEIR truest passions in life. Which, really equates to them not finding nor fulfilling them at all.

When was the last time you asked yourself what you want to become? Maybe you were in school and your teacher did that 'drill'. Oh, how your eyes must have lit up when you named the plethora of possibilities.

Or maybe it was that time you were off to university and you were interrogated about your degree choice; its relevance in today's market; it's possible saturation or possible niche effect.

Whether it was those two times, or even when you last had a conversation with a friend; family; a possible employer; a client; in an essay or competition... it's time you go down that alley again...with a slightly different approach:

WHO do You Really Want to Become?

Stomped? 

Suddenly replaying different voices in your head?

Switching choices soon?

Holding on to those choices so you do not disappoint?

Never given it much thought?

Settling?

On the contrary, maybe you are 100% confident that you already know for certain. Well done! That, my friend...may be your greatest accomplishment yet.

Many of us live our lives treading so carefully along the path pre-designed for us by everything else but our passions and purpose. So much so, to the effect that we may be living for someone else. 

Go to school, they said. Get a good education, they said. So you can get a good job, they said. Pretty much in that order.

But who said this is the law of air. Whereby you die if you do not inhale this narrative?

Point to the persons who encouraged you to seek out your passions. 

Point to the persons who pledged their support whether your career choice is traditional or non-traditional.

Point to the persons who told you that it is okay to not aspire to trade your time for money as an employee... working without job security to build the dreams of your employer.

Point to the persons who gave you the insight to life: that the order; the pace; the opportunities; the outcomes; the stages; the phases... vary for everyone, and rightly so.

Point to the person who solemnly knows that they have SO MUCH MORE to offer.

WHO do you REALLY want to become?

It is the journey that gives life its truest worth. Sure, you wouldn't want to find your passions and purpose today then decide to die tomorrow. Enjoy day to day experiences that contribute wholly to your existence. 

Finding and fulfilling your passions and purpose is a journey.  A journey of self discovery. A journey of imperfections. A journey with slow roads. A journey with fast roads. A journey where some days nothing happen. A journey where some days everything comes tumbling. A journey of saying no. A journey of saying yes. A journey of flight from your nest.

A journey of graciously shedding the mundane linear perception of growth and success.

Where you go to school. Get a good education. Get a good job. Then suddenly you have made it. You have completed the rituals of initiation and may now go on to start your family and carry on the torch!

This may seem like the normal thing to do. The safe thing to do. While it is not the wrong thing to do, it is certainly not the ought to do. 

My tips to Lady Justice:

Step outside the box. Find your passions. Your talents. Explore new horizons. Forget everyone's pace and find your own. Get in tuned with your truest self.

It is okay to explore different careers. It is okay to be self employed. It is okay to challenge yourself with new tasks. it is okay to leave you comfort zone. As a matter of fact, you should.

It is okay, at your age to not be sure what you Really want to become. Let the possibilities of each new day keep you on your toes. Let the doors open and close. Because, it is in these moments that we are really living and becoming who we truly are. Be open to this growth.

Life is too short to place all your aim on who you are expected to become. Think about your core values. The many experiences you anticipate. The talents that put fire your eyes. The dreams you want actualized. 

Take control. WHO do you Really want to Become?

Election Blues

     "Always a Revealing Season"

  A recollection of my Election Seasons at The University of the West Indies, Mona

To all the present, past and prospective UWI, Mona students, I respect you. Not only because of the common factor being the UWI, but also because of the Golden Rule: "Do unto others as you would have others do unto you." 

In hindsight, that was the lynch pin of my persona which never faded even in moments when winning was made out to be the "be all and end all" of the election season. 

In brief, in 2018 and 2019 I contested for the positions of Mary Seacole Hall Deputy Chairperson and Guild Vice President, Properties and Special Initiatives respectively. I won the former and lost the latter. However, in retrospect it is the latter that I WON!

Call me a crazy gambler if you think I am confusing my wins. Call me a wise woman if you can see past the irony. Whichever you choose. You have the right to vote! Go ahead, cast your ballot!

To confess, when I matriculated The University of the West Indies Mona, from Camperdown High School I did not know of the 'Guild' nor the full scale of what "life/election on a hall of residence/campus" would entail. Of course I knew what the University was about and the Law Degree I was pursuing.  Nonetheless, I was not new to the leadership arena as I served in numerous capacities as student leader in my earlier years. Three of which were Head Girl, Debate President and Valedictorian at Camperdown High School. Thus, when I got to The UWI, my leadership qualities were noticed and respected. It was not shocking, when the current Chairperson and Deputy for Mary Seacole Hall had nominated me to vie for Deputy Chairperson of the Hall.

What was surprising was the atmosphere after the nomination became public. This, was my very first encounter with campaigns, elections and sinister vices. I felt as though I had robbed  some of my seniors of their hegemony and some of my fellow juniors of  their distance in the 'race'. Who dared me, a fresher, a new sister to the 'hood' to be nominated and subsequently elected as Deputy Chairwoman? A position that landed me on the "Mighty Guild" in my very first year. What I had seen as a worthy accomplishment, to this day feels like a pyrrhic victory. Still,  I reminded myself daily of my virtues. Never loosing sight of who I am. Holding dear to me my integrity and even dearer, the fact that each person has the right to vote and confide in whichever leader they choose.

When it comes on to elections, that leader may or may not be you. I understood that and it made me campaign with my character in tact. As I do not believe a win nor a loose is worth me getting out of character for. 

Of a fact, campaigns and elections build grit and wisdom. One ought not be thinned skinned. As sometimes you will be offended. If not by your direct opposition, then by members of their team, supporters, content etc. It happens. Both ways. Just the same, your team, supporters and content may offend others too. Most importantly though, you will gather wisdom. It is a season for differentiating different types of leaderships and friendships. This is the season when you get a reading of people's character and attitude towards another's success, downfall and existence. Many of  the things that surprised me in my first election, failed to surprise me in the second.

By this, I had realized and anticipated various attempts at character assassination. Lady Justice, I did not follow suit. I noticed throughout the season, stories of half truths, manicured lies, pedicured persuasions. The bad thing is that there will be persons who believe and propagate. The good thing is that, to date, my conscience allows me to sleep. 

What I found too was that students support, campaign and subsequently vote for many different reasons. Similar to what happens across the board with elections. Some persons will vote or omit to vote for a particular candidate because:

•  Of the resonance of their message. 
• Who they believe is more competent
• Provisions/promises  made to address specific needs
• Loyalty and alliance
• Confidence in or the lack there of
• Biases
• Spite
• Old grudges 
• Age
• Sex 
• Religion etc

While it sounds harsh, it is true. These factors continue to play a major role in elections to date. Therefore, person 'A' getting a person to vote for him or her may not be because they like 'A'. But because they dislike person 'B'. Similarly, an individual may not have voted for 'A' because they have more confidence in the work of 'B'. You get the gist. 

As soon as we are ready to have these discussions with an open mind and transparency, comments from all angles are welcomed .Again, the vote is yours. Cast your ballot 'yay' or 'nay'. 

Now back to my assertion earlier. It was the latter of my two elections that I really won! Firstly, I left trouble makers hanging on to carbon dioxide, as I did not oxidize their attempts to breed rivalry. Keep your votes I thought. I'll keep my peace. Secondly, I did not at all feel as though I was robbing anyone of their hegemony.  In fact, I was bolder and knew very well my capabilities. To add, I was contesting against someone who contested healthily. That was refreshing. Commendations to him. He won. I lost, with grace and dignity. Nonetheless, he was the only candidate I have contested against who did not engage in 'foul political normalcies'. While I cannot confidently speak for his team and other supporters I can of him. And that made me proud to know....it is POSSIBLE.

Thirdly, I dismissed the 'pity parties'. It was very kind of persons to check up on me after the ballots were counted and I was not declared victor. I appreciated that and I made sure to tell each person I valued their time and kindness. I told them too, that I wasn't in a state of pity nor should they...and I meant that. To this day, I am happy that I did not have a bitter outlook for the winner nor my decision to contest. See, I participated in an election, which will naturally have a victor and a not so victorious person.

My tips to lady Justice:

• Good sportsmanship is imperative. While your opponent may or may not be your friend,
   it is always good to win with grace and loose with dignity.

• Campaign with grace and dignity too.

• While we cannot control another's perspective, we can control our own. What we speak of others, is it true? Or is it part of the election blues?

• Monitor closely the attitude towards elections, campaigns and sportsmanship on campus. It says a lot, as the space is a microcosm of our society.